So I'm starting to wonder....when did my life become so boring and predictable?

I have too many responsibilities.... I liked to give a few up please.

44 days till the end of the semester and that means 44 days till summer and not so many responsibilities.

I want to be a freshmen again...really life was a lot easier then...still had 4 years ahead of me and it was ok to be not responsible and I still knew that I had 4 years left to be irresponsible.

Oh jeez

So...are we all ready for a profound entry...ha...probably not!

I'm extremely antzy....I need to get out of this place for awhile!!! Good thing Mexico is right around the corner.  I have this same feeling that I had during my last two years of high school.  I'm ready for a change...man I wish I would of went somewhere else for school.  I really don't fit in here and Fargo is driving me nuts. Too bad money doesn't grow on trees.

Maybe it's just the snow...the 12 feet that we got!!

This week is going to take forever and I have a feeling I'm going to suck at the tests I have coming up ...no motivation.

I have a feeling that rebeling is going to be taking over soon and will not be ceasing after I return from spring break!! I'm gonna take a good friend's advice and live a little or at that...a lot.

I have this urge to go sit outside...maybe I could make an igloo and meet a nice, semi-gooding looking eskimo and have short, round, semi-good looking children together...doubtful.

You would tell me the truth right?  Am I slightly defective?

Actually don't answer that...Thanks. 

Tell me again why I still have xanga?                                                     Oh yeah...to distract me.

So this is what I do on my Saturday off. I swear I was productive this morning...really.

K now I need to end this pointless entry and go eat dinner with my family.

Well, I kept my promise. And it is finally Christmas break...I didn't think I'd make it!!! 

With that said, I can't believe that we have to start again in 11 days.  I swear winter break gets shorter and shorter each year.

Christmas was good.  Very quite, but good!! Ten times better than last year . I got a really nifty teddy bear calendar...among other things.

Everything in general is good.  Busy, but that's normal for me.

I thought school would get less stressful the farther I went along, but now I have to think about what I want to do when I'm done.  Getting an internship is stressful.  What if I don't find a job?  My worst fear is being thousands of dollars in debt with a degree and still working full time at Target. It's true...it happens...I've witnessed it.

Is it bad, that I never want to work again and I want to switch my major to housewife duty? Is it wrong that I want to spend my extra time hanging out in the engineering building, looking for a significant other?  And the only way I can think of never having a job again is by having children. But I don't have a decent significant other in my life right now to make babies with...so therefore I am screwed!! 

So what is the answer to my problem...?        More School!!!!  I really want my masters, so why not while I'm young.  I can just rack up my debt even more.

And why is it that all of my friends are all stable and know where there going in life and already know where there going when school is done?  I feel like I'm the only one with no stability in my life. Why is that?  I still get weirded out by the fact that I'm in one of my best friend's wedding this summer.  And thinking about having babies...well that just makes me hurt.  Geez... am I developing slowly or something?

K Michele.... breath...one thing at a time.

What am I talking about?  Life is good!!! And now I know why I never write on this thing anymore...it makes me have unnecessary thoughts.

Like I said...Everything is good....really

I believe I wrote this same phrase a few years ago, but once again Michele, it's time to move on.

Now with all that shit said...I'm gonna go bug one of my favorite people.

Well Xanga...this maybe the begging to the end...

I've been busy...that's not new information...is there really a point anymore?

But in the process of all the busy-ness...it has been fun!

So here we go kids...

School is busy, but really good this semester.  Maybe cuz I actually like my classes and most of my teachers.  Been pondering my major for awhile...been thinking about double majoring...or I could just go to school till I'm 30.  Sounds just fine to me!

Work is work.  I got talked to about the poor attitude I have been exhibiting lately.  I got a mad case of the giggles when they cornered me.  Do I look like I care anymore?   Getting fired would only be a blessing in disguise.  Had an interview with a bank this morning and if I don't get this job...I maybe doomed!!

For the past two school years...I feel regret not leaving Fargo or at least knowing that I can make it on my own outside of this place.  The feeling grows more and more each year.  If I don't leave for the summer, I know that I will have major regret.  I just need to know and maybe Fargo is the place where I am meant to be.  If I didn't have the friends I had right now and if money wasn't an issue...I would of left a year ago.  And I promise I'm not being a Crystal.

So I've come to this...and I'm totally ok with it or trying to become totally ok with it.  I'm done looking for someone...two slaps in the face is more than enough in my book.  I just want someone that wants to be with me just as much as I want to be with them...and nobody else on the side.I feel so stupid about the whole thing...even stupider about getting so upset about it.  I think I liked a different person anyway.  Maybe I am suppose to be the wiedo that doesn't get married till I'm 40...maybe that's when fate is suppose to happen or in my case.. hopefully sooner .  So I'm done looking and maybe in the process...someone will find me.  Right now I'm wasting my time on people that are willing to waste their time on me and that's the way it should be. I can't complain...I've been having a blast! And as much as I'm trying to keep myself quite about the other person on the side...I really do appreciate my friends bashing her...so keep up the good work!!

I swear I know some of the coolest people ever!!!

Turning 21 was great!!! I couldn't ask for a better birthday...I couldn't believe how sick I was after it, but totally worth it.  The bar is wonderful...I actually got hit on Friday night. I tried telling the guy my name, but he got scared and ran away.  At least that's how I remeber it.

So Xanga...I don't when or if I will be back...maybe over x-mas break we'll have a date!